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  • Writer's picturemarypascallcounselling
    • Mar 8, 2023
    • 5 min read

How do I know when I'm ready to begin counselling therapy?

Updated: Jun 30, 2023

Welcome to my blog page of 2023. Throughout the year we'll focus on emotional issues that affect most of us from time to time - and see how counselling therapy can help.


Something's troubling you. You've noticed changes in your behaviour that have a negative impact on your emotional health. Friends and family worry about you. Perhaps it's been suggested that you seek counselling therapy. But what if counselling is not something you have considered before? How do you know that you're ready for it?


You could begin by asking yourself what's motivating you to seek counselling. If your difficulty feels urgent, you can contact the NHS or a support helpline or chat platform. If your difficulty is very recent and not overly challenging, perhaps you can pause to take stock. You may be able to resolve the issue by using self-help resources and seeking advice from your GP's surgery.


If you feel a compulsion to 'fix' things quickly, take note: counselling therapy is not a quick fix. You will need to invest your time and emotional energy. And, in the UK. unless you access counselling through the NHS or charities offering free counselling services, you will also need cash. There's usually a wait for free and low-cost services.



When considering counselling, it may help to ask yourself the following questions:

  • What changes have I noticed?

  • What strategies have I already tried?

  • Am I struggling to cope?

  • Who am I doing this for?

  • Do I believe there can be a positive outcome or am I sceptical?

  • Do I want advice or support?

  • Am I looking to make a change?

  • Do I have any specific goals?

  • Am I looking to understand myself and others?

  • Am I willing to do the work and be open to challenge?

  • What is my availability and can I commit to regular sessions?

  • Can I afford to pay for counselling?


Whilst you may consider counselling on the advice of others, be sure to check that you are not simply following advice. A therapist will work to forge a connection and build trust. When you're open to this, counselling can succeed. If you are reluctant, sceptical or suspicious of counselling, engaging with the process will be difficult. You could waste both time and funds.


Whilst you may consider counselling on the advice of others, be sure to check that you are not simply following their advice.

Counselling is not advisory or directive - a counsellor is not there to offer an opinion or tell you what to do. Whilst a counsellor may offer tools or tips for mental health, an important aspect of their work is to encourage and support you in understanding your thoughts and behaviours, so that you can find your own way to resolve difficult issues.


It is not always necessary to set goals in counselling. Most of us are looking to change the way we're feeling. If you're looking to tackle a specific issue, such as identity, relationship or loneliness, for example, then look for a counsellor who specialises in that area.



A counsellor will encourage and support you to understand your thoughts and behaviours. But you will need to work with your counsellor to find solutions to your difficulties.

Personal development is an essential part of counselling therapy. To increase self-awareness, understand others and effect change, you will need to be open to challenge. This can be difficult emotionally, but a counsellor will aim to support you through this.


Counselling takes time and regular sessions keep you in touch with your process. Make sure the counsellor's availability suits your schedule. Having to rush to sessions after work, delaying lunch or your evening meal because you have a session, or having to end your session early to meet another commitment, could affect your therapy. If you work irregular shifts, check that the counsellor can accommodate flexible sessions. Some counselling services offer set times only.


At the risk of stating the obvious, if you're paying for counselling sessions, consider your finances.

Bear in mind that it may take two to four sessions for you to feel comfortable with a therapist. Many employee assistance programmes (EAPs) offer five or six sessions. Some free or low-cost counselling services offer 10 to 20 weekly sessions, or sessions for a maximum period of time (6 months, a year or 2 years).


Some private practitioners may have a minimum and maximum number of sessions but most private practitioners offer open-ended therapy. With open-ended therapy, you'll be able to plan ending sessions with your counsellor when it feels right for you. And, with long-term counselling, it is usually possible to take a break. Discuss this with your counsellor. You may need time to prepare for a pause from therapy.


At the risk of stating the obvious, if you're paying for counselling sessions, consider your finances. If necessary, plan ahead and budget accordingly for sessions. Frequent stopping and starting of therapy can affect progress. Some service providers offer low-cost counselling or concessionary rates. This may not always be publicised, so if you need it, ask if such help is available.



All things considered, you're probably ready to begin your counselling journey.




Useful links:









Useful UK Contacts:

The following information was checked at time of posting. Visit websites for more information.


NHS

Find out how to access NHS mental health services and get urgent help.

  • If you or someone else is in danger, call 999 or go to A&E

  • If you need help urgently, but it's not an emergency, get help from NHS 111 online or call 111

SAMARITANS

Confidential emotional support in the UK and the Republic of Ireland for anyone experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts.

  • www.samaritans.org

  • Call: 116 123 (24 hours a day)

  • Email: jo@samaritans.org


PAPYRUS UK

Dedicated to the prevention of young suicide in the UK.

  • www.papyrus-uk.org

  • HopelineUK: 0800 068 4141 (9am - midnight every day, including weekends and bank holidays)

  • Text: 07860039967

  • Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org

CAMPAIGN AGAINST LIVING MISERABLY (CALM)

For people in the UK who are feeling down for any reason, need to talk to someone or want to find information and support.

  • www.thecalmzone.net

  • Helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight, every day of the year)

  • Webchat: www.thecalmzone.net/help/webchat/


MIND

Advice and support for people in England and Wales experiencing a mental health difficulty, plus support for their family and friends.

  • www.mind.org.uk

  • InfoLine: 0300 123 3393 to call, or text 86463 (Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm, except bank holidays).

  • Email: info@mind.org.uk


RETHINK MENTAL ILLNESS

Working to help everyone in England affected by severe mental illness.

  • www.rethink.org

  • Advice and Information Helpline: 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 4pm, except 6 -10 March 2023 when this phone line will be open 12.45pm - 4pm)

  • Email: advice@rethink.org (Rethink Mental Illness aim to respond within 3 working days)


THE MIX

Offering a range of support to young people (aged 25 and under) challenged by anything from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs.


YOUNGMINDS

Offering mental health support for children and young people in the UK.

  • www.youngminds.org.uk

  • Parents helpline: 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4pm, excluding bank holidays)

  • YoungMinds Crisis Messenger: text YM to 85258 (available 24/7)


SANE

Practical help, emotional support and information for individuals, their family, friends and carers, when experiencing mental health difficulties in the UK.

  • Support Forum: www.sane.org.uk

  • Call 07984 967 708 and leave a message, giving your first name and a contact number, and someone will call you back as soon as possible

  • Saneline: 0300 304 7000 (4 pm to 10 pm every day of the year)

  • Textcare: http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/textcare/






  • Writer's picturemarypascallcounselling
    • Feb 3, 2023
    • 3 min read

Craving 'me time'? Why spending some time alone can be beneficial for your mental health

Updated: Jun 30, 2023

Welcome to my blog page of 2023. Throughout this year we'll focus on emotional issues that affect most of us from time to time - and see how counselling therapy can help.


We all recognise that positive social interactions boost our wellbeing. Meeting with friends can be a real tonic. But what about spending time alone? What are the gains?

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. Loneliness is an unwelcome state during which we feel disconnected or isolated. It can leave you feeling dissatisfied with life. It is often linked with being alone or spending considerable lengths of time alone. We know that long periods of isolation can affect mental health, causing anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and stress.


Loneliness can leave you feeling disconnected and dissatisfied with life.

Research suggests that chronic loneliness can be detrimental to both mental and physical health, impacting longevity. This may explain the stigma around loneliness, which makes it difficult for sufferers to seek help.


When you are feeling lonely you may be yearning for companionship or grieving the loss of it.

When you are feeling lonely you may be yearning for companionship or grieving the loss of it. But loneliness can also be experienced whilst in the company of others. It is possible to feel alone or disconnected when you are with those you know and love.


But what if you are experiencing similar feelings, not because you feel lonely but because you long for time alone? As with loneliness, this, too, can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and stress.


Social pressure to spend time with others when you're not feeling so inclined can be a strain.

Social pressure to spend time with others when you're not feeling so inclined can be a strain. You may feel that your commitments and responsibilities leave no room for you.

You may find yourself being persuaded to go with the flow or to put the needs of others before your own. But how do you deal with the exhaustion that follows or with the frustration of having run out of time to meet your own needs?


Spending time alone does not necessarily indicate that you are lonely. Time alone can put you in touch with yourself, help to regulate your emotions and boost your creativity.

Spending time alone does not necessarily indicate that you are lonely. Time alone can put you in touch with yourself, help to regulate your emotions and boost your creativity. And, by investing in yourself, you'll enrichen the time that you spend with others.



Begin to make more time for yourself


Start small

  • Take a moment to breathe. Two to five minutes can work wonders. You could use an online app for this.

  • Allow yourself pockets of time throughout the day. Make a drink, gaze out of the window, stretch, listen to your favourite track, complete a quick quiz.

  • If you can, opt for walking instead of using public transport. Every now and then, take a detour on your way home.

  • When running errands, add something to your to do list that's just for you, Like stopping for a coffee, a walk through the park, a visit to the library, making a small purchase or window shopping.

  • Lunch alone at least once a week.

  • Plan a date with yourself.

  • Set yourself an end time for your working day and try to stick to it.

  • Limit your availability. Block out time on shared calendars. If you can, have your phone on silent for at least 30 minutes during the day.


Seek support

If you're struggling to make time for yourself, you can get help to avoid overwhelm and possible burnout, and strike the right balance for you. Counselling support can help you work through any difficult feelings you may have. A counsellor can also help you reconsider your lifestyle choices and establish a routine that allows more time for you.


Useful links:








  • Writer's picturemarypascallcounselling
    • Dec 29, 2022
    • 2 min read

When good things come to an end and a new beginning feels daunting

Welcome to blog 12 of 2022. With each blog, we've focused on a topical theme of counselling therapy, to help you in your search for therapy or consider becoming a therapist.


As we approach the close of the year, it's inevitable that our minds turn to thinking about endings and new beginnings. Endings can be tricky.


With sad or negative endings, we anticipate difficulty, and during such times, we hope to receive some level of support or, at least, some sympathy from others. But what of other endings? A phase of life, right of passage, close of the year?


During periods of transition, whether positive or negative, we may experience mixed feelings.

During periods of transition, whether positive or negative, we may experience mixed feelings: sadness because a good thing or familiar routine is coming to an end; excitement, nervousness or we may feel daunted by the prospect of beginning something new. We may feel eager for or resigned to the next inevitable stage of life.




Such feelings are natural but, at times, they may become overwhelming. However, there are ways to manage such feelings, to avoid being swamped by them.






If you are experiencing difficulty coping with change, you could try to:

  • accept that it's okay to feel a sense of loss.

  • give yourself time to adjust to the idea of change.

  • share your feelings with trusted others.

  • remind yourself that you can revel in the positive memories.

  • look ahead to new beginnings or the possibility of something new.


If, however, after trying the above, you find yourself continuing to struggle

to adjust, it may be worth considering seeing a professional counsellor. Counsellors are experienced in assisting people to navigate change.


A counsellor can help you to:

  • express and understand your feelings

  • offer tools to help you adjust through periods of transition

  • support you in working towards accepting that life has altered

  • focus on new goals and preparing for change.


Ring the changes...



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