Craving 'me time'? Why spending some time alone can be beneficial for your mental health

Welcome to my blog page of 2023. Throughout this year we'll focus on emotional issues that affect most of us from time to time - and see how counselling therapy can help.

We all recognise that positive social interactions boost our wellbeing. Meeting with friends can be a real tonic. But what about spending time alone? What are the gains?

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. Loneliness is an unwelcome state during which we feel disconnected or isolated. It can leave you feeling dissatisfied with life. It is often linked with being alone or spending considerable lengths of time alone. We know that long periods of isolation can affect mental health, causing anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and stress.

Loneliness can leave you feeling disconnected and dissatisfied with life.

Research suggests that chronic loneliness can be detrimental to both mental and physical health, impacting longevity. This may explain the stigma around loneliness, which makes it difficult for sufferers to seek help.

When you are feeling lonely you may be yearning for companionship or grieving the loss of it.

When you are feeling lonely you may be yearning for companionship or grieving the loss of it. But loneliness can also be experienced whilst in the company of others. It is possible to feel alone or disconnected when you are with those you know and love.

But what if you are experiencing similar feelings, not because you feel lonely but because you long for time alone? As with loneliness, this, too, can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and stress.

Social pressure to spend time with others when you're not feeling so inclined can be a strain.

Social pressure to spend time with others when you're not feeling so inclined can be a strain. You may feel that your commitments and responsibilities leave no room for you.

You may find yourself being persuaded to go with the flow or to put the needs of others before your own. But how do you deal with the exhaustion that follows or with the frustration of having run out of time to meet your own needs?

Spending time alone does not necessarily indicate that you are lonely. Time alone can put you in touch with yourself, help to regulate your emotions and boost your creativity.

Spending time alone does not necessarily indicate that you are lonely. Time alone can put you in touch with yourself, help to regulate your emotions and boost your creativity. And, by investing in yourself, you'll enrichen the time that you spend with others.

Begin to make more time for yourself

Start small

• Take a moment to breathe. Two to five minutes can work wonders. You could use an online app for this.

• Allow yourself pockets of time throughout the day. Make a drink, gaze out of the window, stretch, listen to your favourite track, complete a quick quiz.

• If you can, opt for walking instead of using public transport. Every now and then, take a detour on your way home.

• When running errands, add something to your to do list that's just for you, Like stopping for a coffee, a walk through the park, a visit to the library, making a small purchase or window shopping.

• Lunch alone at least once a week.

• Plan a date with yourself.

• Set yourself an end time for your working day and try to stick to it.

• Limit your availability. Block out time on shared calendars. If you can, have your phone on silent for at least 30 minutes during the day.

Seek support

If you're struggling to make time for yourself, you can get help to avoid overwhelm and possible burnout, and strike the right balance for you. Counselling support can help you work through any difficult feelings you may have. A counsellor can also help you reconsider your lifestyle choices and establish a routine that allows more time for you.

Useful links:

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-important-is-alone-time-for-mental-health-5184607

https://www.psychalive.org/being-alone/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/chronic-loneliness#when-to-see-a-doctor https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/what-therapy-can-help-with/loneliness/

When good things come to an end and a new beginning feels daunting

Welcome to blog 12 of 2022. With each blog, we've focused on a topical theme of counselling therapy, to help you in your search for therapy or consider becoming a therapist.

As we approach the close of the year, it's inevitable that our minds turn to thinking about endings and new beginnings. Endings can be tricky.

With sad or negative endings, we anticipate difficulty, and during such times, we hope to receive some level of support or, at least, some sympathy from others. But what of other endings? A phase of life, right of passage, close of the year?

During periods of transition, whether positive or negative, we may experience mixed feelings.

During periods of transition, whether positive or negative, we may experience mixed feelings: sadness because a good thing or familiar routine is coming to an end; excitement, nervousness or we may feel daunted by the prospect of beginning something new. We may feel eager for or resigned to the next inevitable stage of life.

Such feelings are natural but, at times, they may become overwhelming. However, there are ways to manage such feelings, to avoid being swamped by them.

If you are experiencing difficulty coping with change, you could try to:

• accept that it's okay to feel a sense of loss.

• give yourself time to adjust to the idea of change.

• share your feelings with trusted others.

• remind yourself that you can revel in the positive memories.

• look ahead to new beginnings or the possibility of something new.

If, however, after trying the above, you find yourself continuing to struggle

to adjust, it may be worth considering seeing a professional counsellor. Counsellors are experienced in assisting people to navigate change.

A counsellor can help you to:

• express and understand your feelings

• offer tools to help you adjust through periods of transition

• support you in working towards accepting that life has altered

• focus on new goals and preparing for change.

Ring the changes...

You may find the following links useful:

https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/bacp-children-young-people-and-families-journal/december-2019/managing-change-tolerating-thresholds/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtixmXEnHzk

https://www.news24.com/life/wellness/mind/coping-with-change-5-ways-to-make-it-through-your-life-transitions-20220927

Are you experiencing seasonal or winter blues? Counselling can help

Welcome to blog 11 of 2022. With each blog, we focus on a topical theme of counselling therapy, which I hope will inform you in your decision to seek therapy or to become a therapist.

Those of us who experience a winter climate may anticipate a change in mood and behaviour as the nights draw in. We grumble about the cold and the dark. We may feel less keen to leave our homes, to socialise, exercise. Our diet will change, as we seek warmth and comfort. We feel the need to slow down. We may feel a little flat.

Some of us experience more debilitating symptoms, such as very low mood, irritability, stress or anxiety, feelings of isolation. This is commonly referred to as Seasonal Blues or Winter Blues and diagnosed by medical professionals as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

It's estimated that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), affects around 2 million adults and children in the UK.

You're not alone. It's estimated that SAD, affects around 2 million adults and children in the UK and more than 12 million across northern Europe. It's believed that reduced light affects the circadian cycle - a 24-hour cycle that governs the rhythmical behaviour of most living organisms, including sleep, temperature, hormones, appetite and digestion.

Ways to combat SAD include:

• light therapy

• altering your diet

• exercise

• counselling

If SAD is affecting you daily throughout the winter months it could be beneficial to seek a counsellor. The right counsellor will help you to explore your feelings, highlight any patterns of behaviour, identify just how this impacts your life and support you to make changes.

Although it's more common to experience SAD during the winter months, it's also possible to experience SAD during the summer.

Although it's more common to experience SAD during the winter months, it's also possible to experience SAD during the summer. Symptoms may include low mood, restlessness, agitation, loss of appetite.

You needn't suffer in silence. Speak to your GP and consider seeking counselling.

Useful links:

https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/low-mood-and-depression/beating-the-winter-blues

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/treatment/

https://www.bacp.co.uk/news/news-from-bacp/2022/14-january-tips-to-help-your-mental-health-and-wellbeing-this-winter/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAm5ycBhCXARIsAPldzoVZK1R9XuSziCstozJMVAc6p3vgHd14Wnu0EfNCxdtVlSsWzG-6SDcaAl-xEALw_wcB