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Healthy relationships: why we need to set and maintain boundaries

Welcome to blog 6 of 2022. Each month we focus on a topical theme of counselling therapy, which I hope will help you in your decision to seek therapy and support you on your journey.



In order to maintain healthy relationships

it's important

to establish boundaries.

But what does this mean and what do boundaries

look like?



Well, consider the following definition: a boundary indicates the limitations of a space; there is a clear demarcation that differentiates one space from another. That demarcation reserves and protects a space, and may indicate ownership.

Personal boundaries encompass your beliefs, culture, feelings,

levels of intimacy, ownership of an area or belongings, personal space, sexuality,

your time, energy and commitment, and thought processes.


In your relationships your boundaries may vary according to the nature of a relationship or due to changes in circumstance. For example: you may be willing to share personal possessions with a partner but not with a colleague; be happy to have friends drop by unannounced, but not when you are feeling unwell.


So that's what boundaries are but what difference can they make to your relationships and how do you introduce them?



Establishing boundaries in your relationships is a healthy way to address your needs and the needs of others.


For your well-being, it is important that your physical and emotional needs are met. Establishing boundaries in your relationships is a healthy way to address your needs and the needs of others. Setting boundaries for yourself and within your relationships is part of self-care.


In order to establish and maintain boundaries in relationships some key element are required: mutual respect, communication, autonomy, acceptance and resilience.


If any of these are in short supply you may experience difficulties within your relationships. Communication is key; lack of communication will lead to misunderstanding and frustrations within a relationship.


Establishing appropriate boundaries within a relationship will encourage mutual respect and acceptance which, in turn, boost self-esteem and personal growth, and help to promote harmony.


When you set and acknowledge boundaries within your family, with a partner, within a friendship or with a colleague, you are inviting respect and acceptance of your identity.



Establishing boundaries within a relationship will encourage mutual respect and acceptance which, in turn, boost self-esteem and personal growth, and help promote harmony. That said, identifying which boundaries work for you can be a bit of a process. By reflecting on your relationships, you can identify what kind of boundaries may be helpful. In addition to your needs, consider your capacity to accept the needs and desires of others. What are your expectations of others and what do you feel able to offer?




As we move through life relationships and boundaries can change. If not addressed changes may present challenges that can lead to discord.

t's also important to remember that as we move through life relationships and boundaries can change. If not addressed changes may present challenges that can lead to discord. So it's important to be attentive. Boundaries require maintenance.


A counsellor can help you work through relationship challenges and support you in setting appropriate boundaries, through one-to-one, counselling, relationship, family, peer or group counselling.




For information on how to find a counsellor go to:






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