A new year and a new approach to my blog. Each month we will focus on a topical theme of counselling, which I hope will help you in your decision to seek therapy and support you in your therapeutic journey. If you're new to my blog, please do take a look at previous posts, which include information on how to find a suitable therapist. Welcome to all.
So 2022 has begun and many of us are wondering what's in store for us. Some, despite the challenges of the pandemic, spent the last days of the old year finalising a plan for the year ahead. Whilst others have plumped for taking each moment as it comes and making the most of things. Then there are those of us who feel, well...stuck.
When you're asking yourself: 'How on Earth did I get to this place?' you're in stuck mode.
Glued, wading through treacle, numbed and zoned out or aching and screaming inside; when you're asking yourself: 'how on Earth did I get to this place?' you're in stuck mode. Longing for other possibilities and unable to imagine what these could be or how to achieve them? Or is your mind all aflicker with fantasies, daydreaming a life that privileged others live, convinced that for you this will never be? Perhaps you are stuck because you are afraid of letting go; because you feel trapped and powerless.
It seems important to acknowledge that feeling stuck is not a choice. Neither is it something that just befalls you. Stuckness takes time to develop. It creeps up on you, climbs stealthily onto your shoulders, grows heavy and then drags.
It can, sometimes, feel oddly reassuring to be stuck and uncomfortable in your self. Perhaps it's the familiarity of the routine, albeit mundane.
It can, sometimes, feel oddly reassuring be stuck and uncomfortable in your self. Perhaps it's the familiarity of the routine, albeit mundane. Like an old coat that's noticeably fraying at the cuffs and hem, it's difficult to shed. So why become unstuck? The answer is that you'll feel better for it and live a life that's more satisfying.
There are phases of being stuck. First comes a recognition that you are experiencing discomfort, dissatisfaction or an unhappiness beyond your control.
There are phases of being stuck. First comes a recognition that you are experiencing discomfort, dissatisfaction or an unhappiness beyond your control. You feel weighed down by your feelings or numbed by the monotony of your routine. Perhaps you make an attempt, maybe several, to break the cycle, but are unsuccessful.
Exhausted, depleted, defeated, you resign yourself to enduring your plight. You may tell yourself, or be told by others, that there are reasons why you should accept your lot. You feel flat; you believe that others around you are happy and making progress, whilst you are stuck in a rut. Or you may slip into denial, disconnecting from reality; from the life you're living.
So how do you become unstuck? Only when you begin to crave change do you begin the process of becoming unstuck. Even if there's only a flicker of desire, there's hope.
So how do you become unstuck? Only when you begin to crave change do you begin the process of becoming unstuck. Even if there's only a flicker of desire, there's hope. But you have to choose to change. Becoming unstuck is not an easy task; it requires commitment and considerable effort on your part. Such a craving can be difficult and painful, and there's no way of telling how long it may last. You could attempt to tackle this alone or with the help of those who care for you, but the support of a counsellor can be highly beneficial.
You could attempt to tackle this alone or with the help of those who care for you, but the support of a counsellor can be highly beneficial.
An important part of becoming unstuck involves recognising what it is that you want to change and then what steps you may have to take to achieve this. Taking responsibility is key. This will feel risky and will require working on increasing your motivation and self-confidence. These are areas where the right therapist can offer support. Right. as in right for you (see my post on 'How do I find a good therapist?').
So whether you're waiting to see what opportunities may come your way, wanting to take control and develop a plan, trying to embrace the present, or all three of the above, It's a good time to seek support from a therapist who can support you through the process of becoming unstuck. The right therapist will encourage and help build your self-confidence, so that you can move towards making a change.
Become unstuck - choose to take the chance to change.
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